my problem

Can I know who I in this family?

Part of this family right? I know I the last child, I’m sorry cause make this family shame  I know I’m stupid, not like my brother, sister and cousin they are all clever. If you want know dad, I try hard to be your perfect son but you not support me u anymore, dad I always cry when you says that I stupid not clever like others. That fucking result make you change I’m sorry cause I can’t get ‘A’ in PMR exam, I know dad, you shame when your friends, ask you what I get in PMR? You cannot answer the question because I didn’t pass right. I still remember that night when you shouted at me because I didn’t get “A” in all subject, your feelings was disappointment to me I know that, but I acting happy and like stupid girl like don’t know how to care about your feelings. 

You stand in front me talk too much shouted and shouted u make I crazy u don’t know my feelings when you talk like that in front you I hold my tears, in your back I crying hard. Nobody know I’m crying I’m good when hoarding my tears I know all family didn’t like me I hide my feel in front u all. 

So you all can talk back about me you all think I did not know but I know all that. If you all want to know I always study before that exam start I always do study group in library, in class I’m the only one person that study if you all did not believe me you can ask my teacher, my principle you can get CCTV CD to look and see what I do in school. When u all angry with me shouted I try to talk I want u know that I study! But that time is not good for me to cut your talk and give me chance to talk. I’m accept what u all give me but in my heart so hard to accept that you say. Dad you say I cannot hang out next year until SPM and I cannot have any friend boy or girl I think you crazy because when I didn’t have any friends how can I study please tell me I need your answer? If you n my brother don’t want I hang out I accept that but if u didn’t want I have friends that I can’t accept I will ignore what u try to say.. ok until here I write cause I’m tired I want going out so see yeah .

-Last word-

Try to understand me and be my perfect family ok.

 This story in writing by, me Myra Hassan (true story)